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bullying_begoneTo continue with the "How to decrease your encounter with cyber bullies/trolls" series...I'm doing Facebook today. Btw, some advice that you all saw on the entry regarding Live Journal may be similar to what I'm about to say on here.
1. This goes for any site you're on, but very careful what you put down. Particularly, very personal info like contact information. Reason for this is because you don't know who may be looking at your profile if you have everything public, and that could lead to trouble. Personally, I wouldn't put down what my phone number is or what my address is. Any trolls can start becoming a pain in the ass offline if they have your number and know where you live.
If you do decide to put down this information, you can set it either for your eyes only, friends, or do a custom where only your family members can read it. Plus, on the other side of where you can set who can see your contact info is a row if this information should be on your timeline (I put hidden).
Unlike Live Journal though, Facebook does allow you who can see your profile information. You can set it to anywhere from public to private. However, keep this in mind. Facebook has more of a reputation for sharing your private info than Live Journal does, regardless what you set. They also claim they own whatver you put down on their site. So, use caution when making your profile, who you contact, what you decide to write in a note, what pics you put up, and what you put on your wall.
Also, if you don't want everyone to have the ability to search for you on there by using your phone number or email address...go to "private settings" and hit "How to connect". It's the first listed and you have the option of selecting "friends of friends" or just "friends".
2. Be weary who you add to your friends list, whether if you have a friend request or sent out a friend request. Now, everyone comes to Facebook for different reasons. Some people come there to meet new people online. Others come there to just to keep in touch with close friends and relatives. Then, there's some who do both. I only add people to my friend's list that I have interacted with on some level or who I know well. Sometimes, I may meet them from a mutual friend. I don't add people that I never had a conversation with. While that may make me sound like a big meanie paranoid head, it saves me from adding someone to my list that I barely know who may cause me problems. However, the important thing to note...whether you're weary about who you add or you're willing to add anyone...if you feel something is off about someone (like your instincts are screaming to you not to add that person)...listen to your instincts. They may be right about that person.
If you do not want everyone to send you friend requests, go to private settings and click on "How You Connect".
3. Your Timeline (used to be called your wall, especially if you didn't get Timelined yet): If you decide to keep your Timeline/Wall public, like with advice number 1...just be weary what you put down although I would exercise the same caution even on your friends list. Like if you have your boss from work on your friends' list, it's probably not wise to bitch about them or work. That's when you could do a custom post just for those type of posts. Unfortunately, there's no "private" for statuses when it comes to what you put on your wall. It's only friends, public, and custom. To get there, go to "private settings" and click the one you want.
There are more settings for your Timeline under "Timeline and Tagging". Just go to "Private settings" and "Timeline and Tagging" is beneath "How to connect".
4. Tagging: If you want to prevent people from tagging you in pics, posts, or status updates (especially stuff that you find incriminating or don't get why you're tagged in)....go to the same place as you would for doing settings with your timeline.
5. Messaging: If you've been having problems with people sending you messages that harrass or bully you, you can set it to friends of friends or friends only like I did. To do so, go to "Private settings" and "How to connect".
6. Blocking: If someone is harrassing you, you can block them. Just go to "Private settings" and "Blocking People and Apps", which is the last thing listed on the page. If you block someone, you cannot see them anymore on Facebook like they can't see you anymore. As far as they know, you've been deleted (unless someone tells them you blocked them or they messaged you in the past where it will say if they tried to message you again that they've been blcoked).
7. Reporting: While a lot of us that have FB know how useless it is when it comes to making reports to Facebook (especially if they ended up deleting you because they don't do full investigations), you can try to report people that harass too. However, they don't do things much like Yahoo Chat does when abuse is reported (most of the time).
8. Pictures: You can set pictures to friends only or friends of friends if you don't want the public to see your pics. Also, be weary of what pics you used. For me personally, I post pics publically of places I've been like Monticello in Virginia but I keep posts of where you can see me to friends only unless you can't see my face.
That's all I can think about right now. Will add more if I think of anything else including screen caps (will add those later on since it's past 1:30 am right now).
Also, as I remarked before...
*Disclaimer: I know what I suggest may not work for everyone, or you still have problems even if you have done with what I have done. However, for those that don't know you can set certain features to certain settings, it may help you...especially if you're dealing with trolls and cyber bullies right now.
1. This goes for any site you're on, but very careful what you put down. Particularly, very personal info like contact information. Reason for this is because you don't know who may be looking at your profile if you have everything public, and that could lead to trouble. Personally, I wouldn't put down what my phone number is or what my address is. Any trolls can start becoming a pain in the ass offline if they have your number and know where you live.
If you do decide to put down this information, you can set it either for your eyes only, friends, or do a custom where only your family members can read it. Plus, on the other side of where you can set who can see your contact info is a row if this information should be on your timeline (I put hidden).
Unlike Live Journal though, Facebook does allow you who can see your profile information. You can set it to anywhere from public to private. However, keep this in mind. Facebook has more of a reputation for sharing your private info than Live Journal does, regardless what you set. They also claim they own whatver you put down on their site. So, use caution when making your profile, who you contact, what you decide to write in a note, what pics you put up, and what you put on your wall.
Also, if you don't want everyone to have the ability to search for you on there by using your phone number or email address...go to "private settings" and hit "How to connect". It's the first listed and you have the option of selecting "friends of friends" or just "friends".
2. Be weary who you add to your friends list, whether if you have a friend request or sent out a friend request. Now, everyone comes to Facebook for different reasons. Some people come there to meet new people online. Others come there to just to keep in touch with close friends and relatives. Then, there's some who do both. I only add people to my friend's list that I have interacted with on some level or who I know well. Sometimes, I may meet them from a mutual friend. I don't add people that I never had a conversation with. While that may make me sound like a big meanie paranoid head, it saves me from adding someone to my list that I barely know who may cause me problems. However, the important thing to note...whether you're weary about who you add or you're willing to add anyone...if you feel something is off about someone (like your instincts are screaming to you not to add that person)...listen to your instincts. They may be right about that person.
If you do not want everyone to send you friend requests, go to private settings and click on "How You Connect".
3. Your Timeline (used to be called your wall, especially if you didn't get Timelined yet): If you decide to keep your Timeline/Wall public, like with advice number 1...just be weary what you put down although I would exercise the same caution even on your friends list. Like if you have your boss from work on your friends' list, it's probably not wise to bitch about them or work. That's when you could do a custom post just for those type of posts. Unfortunately, there's no "private" for statuses when it comes to what you put on your wall. It's only friends, public, and custom. To get there, go to "private settings" and click the one you want.
There are more settings for your Timeline under "Timeline and Tagging". Just go to "Private settings" and "Timeline and Tagging" is beneath "How to connect".
4. Tagging: If you want to prevent people from tagging you in pics, posts, or status updates (especially stuff that you find incriminating or don't get why you're tagged in)....go to the same place as you would for doing settings with your timeline.
5. Messaging: If you've been having problems with people sending you messages that harrass or bully you, you can set it to friends of friends or friends only like I did. To do so, go to "Private settings" and "How to connect".
6. Blocking: If someone is harrassing you, you can block them. Just go to "Private settings" and "Blocking People and Apps", which is the last thing listed on the page. If you block someone, you cannot see them anymore on Facebook like they can't see you anymore. As far as they know, you've been deleted (unless someone tells them you blocked them or they messaged you in the past where it will say if they tried to message you again that they've been blcoked).
7. Reporting: While a lot of us that have FB know how useless it is when it comes to making reports to Facebook (especially if they ended up deleting you because they don't do full investigations), you can try to report people that harass too. However, they don't do things much like Yahoo Chat does when abuse is reported (most of the time).
8. Pictures: You can set pictures to friends only or friends of friends if you don't want the public to see your pics. Also, be weary of what pics you used. For me personally, I post pics publically of places I've been like Monticello in Virginia but I keep posts of where you can see me to friends only unless you can't see my face.
That's all I can think about right now. Will add more if I think of anything else including screen caps (will add those later on since it's past 1:30 am right now).
Also, as I remarked before...
*Disclaimer: I know what I suggest may not work for everyone, or you still have problems even if you have done with what I have done. However, for those that don't know you can set certain features to certain settings, it may help you...especially if you're dealing with trolls and cyber bullies right now.
Bullying Recovery Resources?
Date: 2012-11-13 04:26 am (UTC)Re: Bullying Recovery Resources?
Date: 2013-01-15 06:32 pm (UTC)Also for recovering from being bullied, there's a bunch of links on the community's userinfo page that could help you.